Don’t be so sensitive! I heard these words so many times growing up, that I began to feel something was deeply wrong with me. Even today, I tell myself not to be a baby if I tear up over something that touches my heart. Most of my life, I believed I was overly sensitive and I needed to toughen up. It’s only been in recent years that I’ve come to see my sensitivity as a gift from God, strength rather than a weakness.

Recently Amanda, a new friend of mine, sat dry-eyed as she told me she and her husband had just separated. Tears welled up in my eyes as she explained the details. Later tears again started rolling as I shared how much God loves her. I felt embarrassed by my emotions while she remained stoic. However, Amanda responded, “That’s what I like about you. I wish I were more connected to my feelings. It’s as if I’ve placed them in a drawer and never opened it.”

The fact is, this is what many people do. Many shut off their heart because it hurts to feel and to care. I too, am tempted to do this because it’s easier. I wonder what kind of world it would be if everyone turned off his or her emotions?

Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” Jesus describes himself in Matthew 11:29 “Learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart.”

It’s clear what God desires of us. The problem is not that I’m overly sensitive. The problem is that I waste my sensitivity on myself when God wants me to use it for the good of others. I suppose this is what my family was trying to tell me as a child. I never heard “You’re too sensitive!” when I was caring for someone else, only when I was inward focused on myself.

God often bestows a tender heart on us women in particular. It is beautiful and reflects the heart of God. Don’t despise it, but learn to use it for the glory of God. This requires dying to yourself and that’s not easy. However, as you do this, you’ll see your weakness become your strength. You’ll be less likely to hear, “You’re too sensitive” and more apt to hear, “I love your tender heart”.